Hello there sweet lady!
For so long I kept silent, per your wishes, so that no one knew you were sick. You said over and over again "I don't want anyone to treat me differently" and then with a tear in your eye "especially my Angels". You couldn't bear the thought of your grandchildren, Jesse and Zoey, treating you differently.
Each time we went to the doctors you didn't show sadness, you showed true strength, warrior strength. You said time and time again "I'm going to beat this! I'm going to ring that bell!"
Believe it or not, Mom and I laughed so much during these appointments and during her treatments. Some folks gave us a look of disgust, others laughed right a long with us. Many times, we apologized for laughing but continued laughing saying "This is just who we are....we have to laugh!" And laugh we did! There were times we laughed so hard, we had everyone around us laughing. Those tears of sadness became tears of joys, tears of living in the present. The nurses thanked us for our laughter. Many of the patients thanked us too! We were happy that we put a smile on so many faces.
Many times we stopped to have lunch or dinner on the way home. This is where we had the infamous "yellow tissue incident", the "onion ring that was interestingly shaped", and so many more. The laughter continued unapologetic-ally!
I've heard stories over the years about bad MIL/DIL relationships. That they can be horrible but I have to tell you that I hit the lottery with Mary as a MIL. We became best friends before Chuck and I were married. This lady, this wonderful woman was not only my MIL, she was one of my dearest best friends. Chuck always said, and still does, that "She was an awesome mom. She did a great job raising me. She was always eager to help us out; especially when it came to her grandchildren."
Mary was so full of life, laughing, loving, and was a joy to be around. Her sense of humor was second to none! People say to us all the time "How do you stay so young?" All of us...Mary, Chuck, myself, and even Jesse and Zoey automatically reply "laughter!"
Mary wrote in some of her last words just a week before she passed...
"I have had a good life and have been blessed with a wonderful husband and son. I have been blessed with a wonderful daughter-in-law who is my best friend. Chuck and Karen have had me laughing 24/7, even through all of my medical issues.
They both have done everything for me so I don't have to worry about anything. I love you!
My angels, Jesse & Zoey have been my joy. They have showered me with hugs & kisses enough to last eternity. I love you!
My only regrets are having to leave my family. Have no doubt I will be looking down from Heaven to watch out for you all.
I have also been blessed with great cousins, Joan &Butch. Joan, my sister from my mother's sister. My "hat lady" and Mystery Tea Partner. I have always looked forward to our Friday fun days. I love you!
Butch, you are my "Partner in Crime" since childhood. Our Steel Pier days are my most cherished memories. Your support through my illness has meant so much to me. I love you!"
Mary's final written words were from Quentin's Theme...
"In this world that we know now, Love is here then gone. But somewhere in the afterglow, Love lives on and on! I will love you all to eternity and back."
Mom, we can still hear your laughter in the house, you snoring when you were "watching TV", your "hello" to the children when they came home after school.
Mary had such a loving, funny, teasing, beautiful relationship with her grandchildren. One that most of us could only dream of having. She would call them her "Meatball and Lasagna", her "Angels"; in return they referred to her as their "Graham Cracker". Most may find that weird, but to us it was normal.
Up until this last year, Mary still got on the floor to play with the children. It didn't matter what they wanted to play, she say "Ok my angels" and off they went. Nerf gun battles, puzzles, laser tag, games of all kinds, dress-up, it didn't matter what they played. It only mattered that she was with them, making memories. Each night after the children were ready for bed we would find them snuggled up with Mary in her recliner watching TV. And even though they were all squished, Mary had the biggest smile on her face.
Any one that knew Mary, knew that Walt Disney World was her favorite place to be. She has been to Disney almost every year since 1982; sometimes more than once a year. One of her favorite things was to have a romantic walk with Ron through the Countries in Epcot. After Ron passed, we took Mary with us to Disney on every trip. She loved visiting the princesses and riding all the rides with her grandchildren.
Mary loved to read; mainly sci-fi and romance novels. She always had a book. One year we got her a kindle. From that moment forward she was never without that kindle no matter where she went, even Disney! I would always ask "why is your purse so heavy", she replied "well, I have my wallet, my lipsticks, glasses, kindle, and the kitchen sink....just the usual items."
She loved spending a few hours a night chatting with friends on FB, her Beanies Babies and the Disney (DIS) message boards. She started one thread almost 10 years ago after Ron's accident that turned into so much more. She wrote about life and her trips to Disney. After posting about Mary's passing on both of these boards I was contacted my countless people. All with wonderful words to say about how Mary touched their lives. About how they never met her in person but she helped them through so many tough times through her words alone, how they grew to lover her, cherish her, and ultimately watched our family grow. The heartfelt sympathy is overwhelming and unbelievably appreciated.
Mom, you've touched so many lives. You've brightened our hearts with your smile and your laughter; we will all miss you immensely!
Mary's final two requests were to have her ashes spread with Ron's and for me to read this poem:
Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep
- by Mary Elizabeth Frye (1905-2004)
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sun on ripened grain.
I am the gentle Autumn rain.
When you awake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
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