I have learned at this moment in my life that I enjoying banging my head on my desk AND that I shouldn't forward an email to Mary where she needs to print a PDF or picture.
Me: Mom, just open the PDF.
Mary: What? please say this in your best old Italian lady voice
Me: I'm trying to be quiet as I'm in a cube area Mom, it should be at the bottom of the email. Do you see it?
Mary: UHHHH, UHHHHH insert Fat Amy voice from Pitch Perfect
Me: Sighing Mom, at the bottom of your email it should say 1 attachment, or 2 attachments.
Mary: OHHH Praise Jesus!
Me: OK, double-click on the PDF file.
Mary: UHHHH, UHHHHH
Me: For all that is good in this world! Folks on the other side of the cube wall are laughing. Mom, did you find the file? Please just double click on it.
Mary: me ...fairly certain Mary's head is cocked to the side HUH? OH, I got it. What do I open it with?
I'm definitely banging my head at this point. Apparently she cannot view PDFs on her laptop OR she just truly doesn't know how. Either way.....I'm getting a headache.
Me: OK Ma, I'm going to take screenshots of the file and send you pictures. Can you open and print pictures.
Mary: Screen what? me....sighing again
Me: Can you open and print pictures Ma?
Mary: Oh, Yes!
Me: Praise Jesus again!!!! OK, I will call you back when I have sent you the pictures. Give me a couple minutes.
Now you would think that printing pictures from your email would be easy? Well YOU THOUGHT WRONG!
Me: Mom, I sent you the email with three pictures in it. Pg1, Pg2, and Pg3.
Mary: I don't have it yet. Just then her email dings! I got it!
Me: OK, double-click on the image and it will open in a picture viewer.
Mary: Right click or left click.
Me: Sighing! Double left click Ma!
Mary: I don't have that, I have Copy Image and Save Image As.
Me: Banging head really hard now! FINE, you right-clicked, select Save Image As. Can you save it to your desktop?
Mary: me...I truly believe she is cocking her head to the side again. Desktop?
Me: Just save it wherever you save pictures.
Mary: OK, "Mary's Pictures"
Me: Wonderful!
Mary: Now what?
Me: Sighing again Go to your pictures directory and double-click, DOUBLE LEFT Click on the picture.
Mary proceeded to spend the next several minutes trying to find the picture she had just saved. When I tried to explain that she could search I shut my mouth immediately because I didn't want a MIGRAINE!
Mary: I found it! Clapping all around and I'm banging my head!
Me: OK, double left-click on it and then do file, print.
Mary: very very slow speech FFFIIILLLLEEEEE PPRRIIINNNTTTT.
Me: OK, select "Fit to Page" and then "Print". I finally hear the printer!
Mary: OK, well that took forever! me....hitting my head harder on the desk
Me: Now, just do the same thing for the next two pictures.
Mary: What next two pictures? I actually grabbed a stuffed flamingo from my shelf and threw it! I threw it!
Me: The other two pictures in the same email Mom.
Mary: OH, OK She sounded just like Zoey at that moment.
Time stood still for a while.......tick tock, tick tock.
Me: Are you good now? Are they all printed?
Mary: Yes, I've got them all done.
Me: Great, now go to page 1 and tell me what it says. The name of the test is in bold in the middle of the page. I even told her what it should say.
Mary: I don't have that.
Me: Just tell me what each page says.
Thankfully Mary and I made it through this quite painful interaction so that she can get the bloodwork that the doctor ordered done today.
Note to myself...NEVER, EVER, EVER ask Mary to print a picture or PDF file. I will leave work, stop cooking, I'll run all the way to her house to provide her with a printed copy myself.
I'm still banging my head and the folks around me find this all quite, quite, funny!
LOVE YOU MA!!!!!!!!!!!!
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